Why Do Men Need Women? Attraction and Sexual Polarity

There are multiple answers to this question, many of them equally valid. Some people will suggest that men need women purely for biological reason. We are predisposed by our genetics to want to reproduce, and the result of that is attraction and, eventually, a long-term pair bond. Others will suggest it’s a simple matter of companionship, of someone to share life with as you grow older. These are perfectly valid arguments. But what I want to discuss in this article is the concept of sexual polarity. This is the idea that men and women are attracted to each other like magnets because we all have a different sexual polarity.

The question “Why do men need women?” is actually misleading – after all, there are plenty of gay men who don’t seem to need women at all. The real question is, “Why do opposites attract?” Why is it that very few people are happy if they end up with someone who is exactly the same as them? The answer is masculine and feminine polarities. Different people have different strengths of polarity. It is possible for a man to have a more feminine polarity and a woman to have a masculine polarity, but this is not typical.

The best way to sum up this idea is through the concepts of yin and yang. The ancient people of the East were aware long ago of how opposite forces ultimately tend to complement each other. This is particularly true in relationships. The masculine tendencies – drive to succeed, dedication to a purpose, a thirst for competition – are tempered by the feminine energies of love-building and nurturing. (Note: I’m not suggesting that women who have a drive to succeed are necessarily masculine. All people have manifestations of masculine and feminine in their character, they are simply balanced more or less toward one end of the spectrum.) It is this polarity that creates the charge of sexual attraction as well as long term bonding. Sexual attraction is a natural mechanism, just like magnetism, and thus sexual energy is subject to natural laws. Your level of polarity determines to an extent the types of women who will be attracted to you and the types of women you will go for. The two polarities combined become a greater whole – in other words, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Whenever a man is lacking the feminine energy from women in his life, he will unconsciously seek to repair the balance through the activities he undertakes.

Does this mean that there is only one ‘soulmate’ out there for you? I don’t think so. I hate to sound unromantic, but there are over six billion people on this planet. In your lifetime you will only meet a small fraction of them. Even if it were true that only one of them is the perfect partner for you, the odds of you running into that person somewhere in your hometown are astronomically low.

If you are interested in knowing more about sexual polarity, David Deida is generally accepted as the recognized expert in the field.